Pygmy Goats: Yay or Nay?
Opening my FaceBook was a risky proposition this morning. I couldn’t tell if we were finally passed the dress color epidemic. I mean, heaven forbid the whole of America go on without weighing in with their opinion. But I opened FB anyway because I live on the edge!
Thankfully, what I found was a plethora of Youtube videos highlighting the adorable and childlike manners of pygmy goats. Apparently every high schooler no longer yearns for a new car and the latest and greatest in technology but a pygmy goat. These guys:
I must admit, watching them prance up and down the stairs, give it all they got as they scream (baa?) at the top of their lungs, or just prance around hard floored living rooms is heart warming. But does it seem strange we’ve all fallen in love with a filthy barn animal? Let me just explain my top three reasons for why you do not actually want a pygmy goat romping around your home.
1) They are still an animal that needs space! Though you may think your precious pygmy goat is going to cuddle into bed with you on those chilly winter nights and sit quietly while purring as you enjoy your fourth episode of House of Cards, you are wrong. Dead wrong. Pygmy goats would rather gnaw at your favorite pair of slippers and then your feet will be cold in the morning and who’s to blame? That’s right. Darla the pygmy.
Editor’s counterpoint: Or they will live in your shoes and that’s just too cute.
2) They’re big on breeding. BIG! They breed more than dogs. Did you know that? No. Because all you know is that they sometimes look cute when they’re prancing up and down the stairs. So you think you want 47 baby pygmy goats running around your home, but you actually don’t. Because the last thing you need is for those 47 pygmy goats to bother you while you’re trying to finish Scandal!
Editor’s counterpoint: I don’t see your point. Who doesn’t want all of the pygmy goats below? This girl is having the time of her life.
3) They’re only cute when they’re NOT bouncing off your walls, which they will do all of the time. When you take little Darla home, I know you’d sit quietly on your couch waiting for her to start prancing and being cute. But I guarantee she’ll do one of two things (if not both). She’ll either stare at you in stunned silence, wondering why the heck you brought her inside when she could be happily playing outside or she’ll go completely berserk and find joy in breaking all of your stuff as she performs her own sort of parkour. Not exactly what you were expecting huh?
Editor’s counterpoint: this is what I expect
Because I care about the safety of your favorite pair of slippers and your sanity, I felt so inclined to warn you beforehand. Should you still decide to tie yourself to such a dangerous animal, just know that they’re cute but deadly. Like boys. So steer clear of both.
Editor’s note: I’m pretty sure I won this discussion. And to gloat I’ll just leave these here…